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Monday, February 15, 2016

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#Sheyiruns: Four Things I’ve Never Seen As A Nigerian

Abraham - February 15, 2016

1. 120 Hours of Electricity:
It seemed that we only had light when an intern was being shown around the PHCN building that controls our light. Then the tour guide would pull down the lever, so there will be light, then he’ll say to the intern, “now that’s how to turn the light on, and this is how to turn it off.” With that, the light goes off again until another intern is being shown around, three weeks later.

2. A Yoruba movie without juju:
Yes o. This one is impossible. It’s like saying you want to cook egusi soup without using egusi; or you want to sleep without closing your eyes. A Yoruba movie without some voodoo in the plot has not existed yet. Babalawo ti take over!

3. An Albino’s Obituary Poster:
There is no need to explain what an albino is. The thing people need to explain is why no one has ever seen an obituary poster for an albino. Or have you ever seen one? A conspiratory theory might say that albinos don’t die. Hmm. Maybe they have a point.

4. A Female Obioma:
‘Obioma’ is a name given to people who carry small sewing machines around from house to house, street to street to mend clothes at your doorstep. My entire life, I have never seen a woman do this job. It seems to be restricted in some way, to only the men folk. If you have ever seen a female obioma, maybe it was in a nollywood movie- oh, or a dream.


Thanks To escapedmydiary

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